First Love, Only Love
by Asphyxiated Angst
Summary: “It’s all water under the bridge now, there’s no going back, no point in rehashing old memories best left buried.” “Are they really, Sakura? Are they best left? I couldn’t believe my eyes when I looked out the window and saw you down here.”


First Love, Only Love  
  
Sakura tossed her shoes into the car and closed the door. She'd always loved the feeling of sand between her toes. No, perhaps not always, but definitely since that night, the night that changed the course of her life.  
  
She leant on the wooden rail and stared at the small island not far from the shore. As she pressed her fingers on the warm wood, she sighed. Not a lot had changed in ten years. But this rail hadn't been there then. A sign proclaimed that the area had been fenced off to protect the flora. There had been no need then to warn people. Perhaps only a hundred visitors or so had come here during the summer to idle away the days.  
  
People like the Dadouji's who had lived in one of the houses nestled amidst the trees that marched up the hill behind her. Splendid homes with lush gardens, snobbish inhabitants, and boats waiting to be hitched to expensive cars.  
  
She wouldn't look that way. It was painful enough to look at the island, sitting as it always sat in magnificent splendour since the beginning of time.  
  
"Sakura?"  
  
Her heart stopped, then started again. Syaoran was somewhere in China. She had seen him on the news and on newspaper and magazine covers, for his riches and good looks.  
  
Not wishing to add to the pain she felt, she continued to gaze at the headland on the island. A soft wind blew through the tall grasses in front of the fence. Yes, it had been the wind playing tricks.  
  
"Sakura, it is you I'd know those eyes anywhere. They're darker, but they still have the same glow to them."  
  
Holding her breath, she turned around, slowly, as if in a trance. There he stood, a few paces away, pants in the pockets of his jeans. As the sun slanted on him, he looked the same as he had ten years ago. Just sixteen years old and finding his feet into the adult world.  
  
He had to be a figment of her imagination. "Syaoran." His name came out on a sigh.  
  
He stepped closer and the image shattered. This was no young boy. He looked younger then his twenty-six years; no age lines or wrinkles on his handsome face.  
  
"Yes, its me." Close enough to touch her now, he smiled. For a moment he looked almost like the Syaoran she'd known and loved with all the passion of a sixteen-year-old girl, testing her feet in the water of lust and desire.  
  
"I thought you were overseas." She suddenly felt gauche, ridiculous for a woman of her age who ran a public relations business and faced men just as forceful as Syaoran each working day.  
  
"I was, I go back in three days."  
  
The breeze sent her hair into her eyes and Sakura pushed it back, behind her ears. "I didn't know you still lived here."  
  
At last she looked back up at the house halfway up the hill and gasped when she saw the high wall that almost fully concealed it.  
  
"I don't. Father died two days ago." He looked back at the house.  
  
"I'm sorry." That was a lie. She hated his father as much now as she did on that fateful night.  
  
His shoulders lifted again. "he had a rare disease that had slowly taken away all his faculties. He was glad to go, to join mother."  
  
"I didn't know she had died." Now she was sad. His mother had been well liked in the small beachside community, doing lots of charity work.  
  
"What are you doing here?" the look on his face said that he couldn't believe that they were both here, at the seen of her first and worst mistake. Sakura shrugged. How could she explain the strange yearning that had brought her back here?  
  
"It's our anniversary" he said, Sakura's mind reeled, although she pretended nonchalance. As if she had not realised that on this very day ten years ago she had lost her virginity and given him her heart and soul.  
  
"so it is"  
  
"is that why you came?"  
  
His knuckles stroked down her cheek and she shuddered, recalling all the other ways he'd touched her. Touched her as no other man could.  
  
Sakura nodded. "I never could lie to you, could I?" she gave a small smile and his eyes settled on her mouth, sending her nerve endings in a spin.  
  
"No, that's one of the reasons I loved you." His thumb ran along her bottom lip.  
  
"You didn't love me, Syaoran." Shaking her head, she freed herself from his silken web and turned back to rest her hands on the warm rail again.  
  
"of course I did. It might have been the love of innocence but it was fresh, it was true." His gentle hand on her shoulder made her quiver, forcing her to turn and meet his look, oh it had been all those things and more.  
  
"but not enough to defy your father, to tell him that a girl from the wrong side of town might not have your wealth and power, but had pride and as much self-esteem as you. My parents may have only run the fish-and-chip shop, but they were hard-working and as straight as they come."  
  
She moved away from his hypnotic touch. A lizard ran from beneath a rock and she stared down at it, realising that hot tears were blurring her vision. Fool! Hadn't she sworn long ago she'd shed the last of them for the man in front of her who had betrayed her?  
  
"you never gave me the chance to explain." He put a finger under her chin and lifted it forcing her to look up at him. "we were both too young for the kind of deep things we'd gotten into, Sakura. All my father asked was that we give it time, cool off for a while. Before I had time to talk to you, you had disappeared. I asked your mother repeatedly where you were, she kept telling me that she was sworn to secrecy. You didn't have much faith in me, did you?"  
  
Sakura let out a shuddering breath. "I guess not, but, I was hurt, Syaoran. I was torn apart by your seemingly apathetic reaction. All right, we were too young for all that passion. It hit us both, I think, how quickly it all got out of control. But you didn't meet me the next night as we planned. I thought you used me."  
  
"never that!" he swallowed so hard that she saw his throat convulse. "what a fool I was!"  
  
Sakura shook her head. "its all water under the bridge now, there's no going back, no point in rehashing old memories best left buried."  
  
"are they really, Sakura? Are they best left? I couldn't believe my eyes when I looked out the window and saw you down here."  
  
"How were you so sure it was me?"  
  
His mouth curved into a smile. "I'd know you anywhere, I'd looked for you for years."  
  
"Well, I followed your career, you're quite the celebrity."  
  
He made a rude sound. "celebrity! That's a joke. I'm a rich businessman and leader of the Li clan.  
  
"Well, what will you do?"  
  
"I'm going to write a book." When she gave a sound of surprise, he said, "Yes, at last."  
  
"So it's taken ten years to fulfil your dreams then?"  
  
"what about you? What do you do?"  
  
"I have my own PR business. I'll handle your publicity if you like when the books ready."  
  
For the first time, Syaoran looked genuinely amused. "I have to write it first. Where do you live?"  
  
"in Tomoeda. I have a house not far from the beach." She glanced up the hill. "if you don't stay there, where do you live?"  
  
His features tightened. "I have no real home. I'll buy one when everything settles down. Perhaps a place near you. Do you have a husband? Lover? Boyfriend?  
  
If it was anyone else asking her, she'd have punched him or her for asking but with him she had absolutely no hesitation. "there's no-one."  
  
"I don't believe it." He sounded surprised "why hasn't anyone snapped you up?"  
  
"you didn't. why should you think anyone else would?"  
  
"because your beautiful, talented and have amazing legs." No other man could send her pulses racing and her body aflame with just one look as he could. Sakura laughed to ease the growing tension. He grinned and all the once apparent sadness had disappeared into thin air.  
  
"Sakura could I see you? As in a date you?" he sounded hesitant, boyishly tentative. Just as he had ten years ago when he'd asked her to walk across the beach with him. It had been the first of many for the couple.  
  
It was the last thing she'd expected him to ask.  
  
Taking her hand he placed small kisses going upwards leading to her bare shoulder.  
  
"do you still have the boat?" she asked loving the way his eyes darkened at her touch.  
  
"sure, I thought I might take it over to the island this afternoon, capture lost moments. Times that were so precious that helped me overcome a sense of hopelessness that's plagued me over the years."  
  
"may I come with you?"  
  
He clasped her hands. "I wouldn't let you get out of it. We can look at the place where we made love for the first time and found heaven, maybe even make love again one day."  
  
"oh we will." She smiled.  
  
"of course." He grinned and entwined their fingers together and pulling her up towards the hill with him.  
  
Sakura felt more alive then she had in years. Glancing at her pale pink tank top and black, silk knee-high skirt, she said, "I haven't got my sailing clothes with me,"  
  
He grinned again. "the island will be deserted, you wont need any clothes." She gave his arm a playful punch. "I'm not getting naked so get that idea out of your head "  
  
He pushed open the large gates and took a good look around the garden. It hadn't changed at all. The swing seat still sat there, where it had many years ago. She recalled her and Syaoran sharing a sweet kiss there. She half expected his father to come out and glare at her for daring to enter his domain.  
  
In a matter of seconds the boat was in the water. Syaoran jumped in. Sakura lifted her skirt and practically leaped into his arms. The wind whipped her hair into her eyes.  
  
"it'll be fine." He said quietly. She wasn't so sure. But no sooner had they beached the boat they found the spot the one where they made love.  
  
Syaoran removed Sakura's top; she made a tiny protest. "So beautiful," he said. "You are magnificent. As strong and straight as when we first touched each other and made love." She placed a small hand on his very muscular, manly chest and revelled in his shuddering sigh.  
  
"Love me, Sakura."  
  
"Always."  
  
The wind whistled through the rocks above them, as they came together, two lost souls had found each other again. Somewhere, Sakura had read that there was no going back. But, whoever wrote that had been so wrong. Now the years had fallen away and they recaptured the rapture, the splendour of first love. First love that was also last love and only love. A love for eternity.  
  
'Til the end of time. 


End file.
